You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
