Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
