The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
