He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Randomize
