SEEEEXXX PLEASE
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
