"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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