Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
