and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize