just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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