I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
