Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
