I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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