You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
