Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
