Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
why do cheetos always look like penises
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
