he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Text me some of your sweat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
