Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
