Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it's great music for shaving your balls
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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