pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
