...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
