So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
