He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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