I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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