Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
