So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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