Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
