You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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