They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just want nice things and good sex
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
