I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i think i just lost a toe
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
