I smell stomach acid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
