I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
