whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
