dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
