Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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