I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drunk is not a location!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
