____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
id be glad to
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
