Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
