party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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