mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
