I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You took a bar mat shot.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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