that's an acceptable place to lick
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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