(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
