Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
