She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
