I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
