I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
