Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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