Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
