When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
