The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think I just sharted jello shots
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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