you would pick up someone in the library
well you can't waste a boner
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
