yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
