I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
