Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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