With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
