SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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