So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
