I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Small penises have feelings too.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
