I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
