Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
