We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
