Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
