I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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