I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
